Thursday, January 1, 2015

One Little Word 2015: Selfhood

{Mandala made with Deb's tutorial}
Selfhood:  the state of being an individual person; individuality.
Each year, for the last several years, I have been following Ali Edwards' practice of choosing a word upon which to focus; a word which could guide me in my journey through the year. My previous words include open (2007); flow (2008); accomplish (2009); horizon (2010); health (2011); home (2012); paramount (2013); and illuminate (2014). 
In thinking about my "one little word" for 2015, I was mindful of the fact that I currently feel like I spend too much time taking care of others and not enough time taking care of myself or feeding my soul. 
More importantly, I realized that I am beginning to resent it. And I hate that. I don't like the feeling of resenting caring for the ones I love most. And I doubt the building resentment escapes their notice, which can't feel good.
I also realized that this much hovering is not good for the ones that I love. It prevents them from developing their own ability to take care of themselves. It might even prevent them from developing and pursuing their own dreams because they feel like they have to pursue the dreams that I have for them instead.
It didn't take much thought for me to realize that this is not their fault or responsibility; it is mine. And so I need to take responsibility to change my behavior. It will make me happier and healthier, and it will be better for them, too.
So, I have chosen the word selfhood, which means the state of being an individual person. Its history includes claiming the right to be considered an individual and the development of your individuality and identity as a person.
At first glance, the word might seem a little selfish, but I know I will still care for my family. I'm not abandoning them. I also know that, out of necessity, I have spent the last few years taking on more care-giving than is healthy for me. And it's time to step back (a little)  and let go (a bit). Finally, I mean my OLW to include my wish that my children develop their own selfhood this year, and I will definitely be there to support and encourage that journey.
So, that's my word for 2015! What do you think? Have you chosen a word? If so, tell me about it or, if you've blogged about it, put a link in comments, and I'll come check it out.

17 comments:

Eileen T said...

I don't think it sounds selfish at all. I think we all know how easy it is for someone to neglect their own needs, physical and emotional, whilst directing all their energies to caring for others. The important thing is that you have acknowledged how you are feeling and are working to overcome it. Good luck with your chosen word in 2015.

My word is open, which I've written about here: http://in-my-playroom.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/one-little-word.html

Kokopelli said...

Take care of yourself, Rinda! I'm choosing a word since last year and this year it is "change". http://kokopellidesign.blogspot.de/2015/01/alles-gute-fur-2015happy-new-year.html

humel said...

Definitely not selfish - good for you! I've just blogged my olw for 2015 :)

PS Love the mandala!

Melissa said...

A great word for you this year & not selfish at all. You've had several years of taking care of everyone & this will be good for each of y'all. Looking forward to following along on your journey. I blogged my new word today!

Karen said...

Sounds like just what you need! And I agree, nothing selfish about it at all. I'm holding onto my 2014 OLW---never done that before, but I'm not finished with it. I'll be blogging about it once our traveling settles down.

Wrightboysmum said...

I like "Selfhood" you described it perfectly and you're not selfish at all. I chose revitalise and I blogged about it here http://thesecretlifeofascrapstashcollector.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/one-little-word-2015.html
Have a great 2015 with new experiences and learning.xx

Deb @ PaperTurtle said...

Hey Rinda - what a fun surprise to see your mandala in my reader! I love it! I've been really pleased to see you blogging again, and I love your OLW for this new year. Oh my gosh, I could have written the exact same first paragraph myself! sigh. Time to set some healthy boundaries for sure. My OLW for this year is PERMISSION. I'm giving myself permission to follow some dreams I've kept on the back burner for way too long. Welcome back to blogging, my friend. And best wishes for you in 2015! xo

JoAnn ( Scene Through My Eyes) said...

I very much like your word for this year - I agree that we must take care of ourselves in order to care for/about others. Some call it selfish - but I like to think of it as "myself" - instead of always yourself or their selves - it gives good guidelines for what you can plan for this year - enjoy it as you go along, and watch the other enjoy it with you.

Sian said...

What a good choice this is. It's not a word we tend to use in this country, which is enough of a realisation in itself to really get me thinking. So your word is already having far reaching effects! I'm wishing you all the very best with it in 2015

scrappyjacky said...

I think it's a great choice....especially with your children at an age that they really can begin to take care of themselves....good luck with it.

debs14 said...

I think it's a brilliant choice. There comes a time when we have to step back and let them fend for themselves and it's can be hard to do it. I have a tendancy to be a real 'helicopter' parent sometimes, always hovering around, they know we will always be there for them, but it is only healthy that we do things for ourselves now they are older.

Fiona@Staring at the Sea said...

Not a word I have come across before, but an excellent choice. It can be hard to strike the right balance as we bring up our children. I have chosen a word too, for the third time now, and will blog about it next week. I wanted to get my 2014 round up in first, before looking ahead.

Cheri said...

I agree with everything. Nothing selfish about taking care of YOU! My word this year is "thrive" - I've blogged about it here: http://cheriandrews.blogspot.com/2015/01/one-little-word-my-year-to-thrive.html

Susanne said...

Good for you for recognizing a problem that needs a solution. Best of luck to you. Personally, I really miss those days of having people to take care of constantly - kiddos grow up just too fast.

Beverly said...

Such a healthy self realization. I think this word will help you enjoy this year so much. Sometimes we have to realize we are our best for others when we are best to ourselves. Blogged about my word yesterday http://beglorious.blogspot.com/2015/01/one-little-word.html

Missus Wookie said...

Your reasons for choosing selfhood are similar to mine for choosing nourish - ensuring I was taken care of whilst still caring for (and that can mean letting them stand on their own) my family and friends.

My word for 2015 is Light.

Gail said...

I don't think that sounds selfish at all. Like they say on planes in their little talks before taking off - take care of yourself first. My word for this year is health. It's one I used before but I think this year more than ever I need to concentrate on that.